Lost Without
by Renegade Zero
Summary: Caim thinks he's won against the Watchers, when it turns out... he's lost everything he has ever loved or come to love because of them. Or has he truely lost them? Read an'Review please.


**_Disclaimer; I do not own Drakengard or the characters in Drakengard nor the song; Without You by Harry Nilsson._ I do however own some of the plot/idea in this story so.. yeah.. not much there.**

_Shinigami: -laughs- Hahahah_

_**A/N**: Warnings of spoilers for one/two of the endings in the game: Drakengard and character spoilers and the name spoiler for the dragon and any typos. Hey, I am the typo queen. I typoed spoiler as 'spoilder' while writing this Authors note up three times. And I wrote this down in under six hours as I started this at 2:00 in the morning and it's 6:27 AM now._

_Send me money. It's for a good cause. Really o0; I need a new air conditioner for my room. Or a review with some money. Or, just a review. -falls over from the lack of cool air in her room- like an oven in there... -locks Shinigami in her room for revenge- Fear the natural suna room... Anyways, this is rated PG-13 for light swearing, death and etc etc. Be happy. The game itself is a Mature raiting/R thing o.o But really, really good._

_it's just that most of the endings suck. Really. You'd expect a good ending for a Hero o.o;; darn them for making the endings.. semi realistic._

**_Edit: Lyrics were removed due to the new rules. And thought I'd gotten allmy song fics ..._**

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**_- -  
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An old man stood, looking much older than his fourty odd years of living, "Caim," he started, calling the younger mans attention from Manah and to himself. "We have more importent matters at hand." Verdelete finished, leaning heavily on his staff as the brown haired and blue eyed man turned his head to him. Knuckles still white from how hard a grip he kept on the bloodied and battle worn sword. He opened his mouth as if to speak; one of the rare moments he forgot about the pact price and showed off the pact tattoo on his tounge unintentionaly to Verdelet. "Yes, I know Caim. But she is punished enough. To live with her actions." He motioned to Manah, who sat; rocking back and forth muttering under her breath.

Caim's partner; a red Dragon, ancient in age and wisedom. Looked down at the floor: eyes darkened as she went over Verdelete's words as he told Caim what they had to do. Her long tail swished back and forth, making magma esque colored scales rustle as they rubbed together. Her wings itched and she moved them slightly before settling them back down against her back while her twin taloned feet shifted her weight back and forth. She could hear the four others that had been bonded to three other humans. Undine and Salamander were indiferent about this turn of affairs. As they didn't feel compasion for their own bonded. Who was insane and childless forever. And the Dragon was skeptical even if they had bonded to her when sane, would the trio be any different than now.

Leonard and the fairy that had bonded to him. The Dragon snickered to herself quietly, Fairys didn't respect anything much really. Save the forests they lived in and their king. Not even a dragon was safe from their jibes or banter. The fairy could care less if all humans died; save her own bonded of course. For she'd die if he did. And she still wanted to torment him.

The only one that really responded to her thoughts was Golem; he and the Dragon were almost alike in the area of their humans and their evolution of character. Golem had explained to her upon her query to him silently, why had he bonded with the weak child; Seere? He had answered slowly, saying he needed to word this correctly. And she was glad she had the patientce to wait his answer. As it would have been confusing if rushed. He had been slumbering beneath the sands and earth when he had felt something. As if something had pulled him awake. It was crying. Crying from a child.

He had hauled himself awake and out of his place of sleep. To find himself towering over a child that was trying to wake his father and mother. But they would not move, nor did they breath. They were dead and yet the child still tried to get them to respond.

In an act that he somehow knew no other Golem would feel, or be able to comprehend, Golem had formed a pact with the child. Taking his time to keep him forever in Golem's company. Now, Golem didn't have to do this as he, unlike other pacts, would have survived the death of the human. But he said for some reason, he felt bad about letting the human grow up to have that fate. Grow old and die alone.

And now the Dragon was faced with the same choice. For some reason it felt as if this was yet another test from the Gods, and the Dragon wouldn't put it past them. As she was now due for another as she had grown even stronger than they holy dragon Caim and her had fought only hours ago. Raising her dark crimson and scarlet head, and turning deep gold eyes onto her pact partner, the mighty red dragon knew what she had to do.

**_- -_**

"Caim," She whispered softly, lowering her head down to his eye level. Caim's reaction was instantainiously as he turned with a questioning gaze to the dragon. "Warm me as you did before." She demanded, just as softly, nudging Caim's hand with her nose. The human responded, almost eagerly as he used his hand and lower arm to rub her giant head and the red dragon leaned gently into the caress, bliss and warmth filling her body and soul while she tuned out or completely ignored three of the other bond beasts while Golem looked on, mournfully. And Seere seemed to have figured it out as he had become something new; sullen. While Leonard and Arioch were either confused and or ignored about the situation at hand utterly and completely.

With a sigh filled with something akin to regret, the dragon pulled her head out from under Caim's caressing of her head and turned weary eyes onto Verdelete. "I will take the Seals." She said simply and Caim gave a shocked look from his partner to Verdelete. Makling signals he did not agree with this at all. He had lost his younger sister to an insane six year old girl possessed by something that was akin to a demon. He had lost his best friend Inuart to madness and a rouge black dragon. Caim had also lost his kingdom, his family and just about everything because of the Seal, or the Empire that wanted it. He would not lose the last thing that gave more than half a damn about him!

Verdelete also looked concerned, as he did not know of what would or could happen if the seals were placed on something that wasn't human. "Are you sure?" He asked her, ignoring Caim's almost frantic yells that slammed into the shields of magic in his mind. A pained howl rose up that the fairy swore nearly any bonded could hear, and wondered with sadistic glee what was causing Caim so much grief.

The red dragon snarled at this and whirled her head around so fast, she took Caim by surprise. "Silence, fool! This is the only way! Or do you want the rest of your race to die at the hands of whatever dares try to unleash a resurection seed?"

Caim was silent, but by his stance the Dragon knew he was holding back his true emotion and her eyes became more soft and liquid, turning from orbs of pure fire back into the deep gold they had been originaly. "Human, with how much we have been through," and for once when she said human, the Dragon didn't utter it like a vile, or vulgar oath or swear, "that our lives are worth more than everything? Before I met you, I would have just damned the human race to hell as most other dragons or anything else would. I took you for a crazy and foolish mortal, and hated how you never headed my words.

"And yet, even when you were neither good nor evil: For when you did something redeming, you went and damned yourself again. You still held compasion enough for your sister and her old love. You tried to reason with him, and you risked your life; as well as mine to try and fix a problem you could have turned your back to. And now I am faced with the same thing." The Dragon laughed softly at this as she slowly turned and walked out of the building, leading Verdelete and Caim as she continued the conversation with Caim mentally. "_The smart thing for me to do, is turn my back to you humans. Let your race be killed out and let the earth flurish. For I know what will most likely happen otherwise. But, then, you rubbed off on me. _

"_Caim, you have shown me something that all timeless and immortal creatures forget, grow callous or become jaded too. And I fear, and am loathe to admit it, but you humans may be needed in the distant future. With how much energy you throw into things so hopeless as this quest was._"

**_- -_**

As Caim and the dragon conversed, Verdelete had motioned the other three humans back and with quick apologies or harsh laughter of the insane, it was done. Verdelete raised his old and withered staff high into the air, and started to chant out in the ancient language, the words that would pass the seals onto the new (and quite large) vessel. Midway into the first part of the chant, large and brutal like cuts appeared on the dragon's skin, vicous purple liquid seeped from the slashes and onto the ground, and Caim as the human was at her side instantly, latching onto her neck and buring his face into the soft leather like skin, not caring that he had to nearly wrench his arms out of joint to reach her. The Dragon growled and fidgeted greatly as the pain started to get to her. And when Verdelete threatened to falter, she shouted out: "Continue! I am stronger than you think!" The decleration left no ground for questioning. Even as she fell down when the pain became to great, the only thing keeping her to this was the human that now seemed attached to her, trying to soothe the pain that was echoed through the pact. She was dying, and he knew it. When the first part was finaly over, the Dragon lifted her head weakly off of the ground, eyes opening slowly and with sluggish movements, focused onto Caim. "In... all our time together. I.. have never seen you shed tears, Caim." The dragon started, using his name for the first time. "And yet, you cry for me." She grew silent before speaking up again as Verdelete pulled out the four talismans on paper to finish the spell of the seals. "Let.. me tell you something, no mortal has ever been privleged with the knowledge of before. The name, of a dragon. Angelus, was my name. You were the first, and last mortal to hear it. Caim."

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As the dragon finished, Verdelet summoned the spell, and threw the glowing bonds of words at the Dragon. They hit and with energy spurned from pain that Caim could feel on their dying bond; Angelus threw her head back and roared as light seared words and what would have been meaningless drivel to her in the past, right into her hide. They wound up her neck, down her tail and body. Even searing into her wings and head. More blood dripped from the wounds as the final part of the ancient magic took hold and Angelus started to disentagrate, her body imploded and a bright flash of light that rotated for a few seconds appeared from the aftermath of her death before it exploded soundlessly and swept over everything.

Caim stood as still as a statue, his face contorted with rage and grief as the final thing that he had started to care for was ripped violently from his hands. The last part of the bond was gone and Caim let out a scream of tormented pain and unquenched anger and hatred. After what seemed like an eternity, the scream died down and he turned. His face over shadowed by his hair as he hung his head. With drawing his sword, and letting the dull blue toned silver gilded steel flash in the harsh rays of the sun, he turned dead eyes to the others. "You can do what you want. I have one last thing to take care of." Caim spat out and turned on his heel. He was planning on finishing up something he should have done long ago, before this even had a chance of happening. If only he had been stronger, and maybe less compasionate. His sister and his bond would still be alive. But without his sister, Caim had become half a man. He would have fought untill he died if the Dragon hadn't been there to nag sense into him. And without the Dragon...

Caim was a man with nothing to lose now. And the world should be very, very afraid. For something or someone like Caim, with nothing to lose if he died, was a man to be feared. For they fought worse than an injured creature cornered. They fought worse than one of the damned that Manah had sent after Caim and his allies.

_**- -**_

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Inuart stared with utter desolation on his face as his heart broke and bled. The Seeds of Resurection had all been neutralized, and his last chance at having a life with Furiea was taken away from him. The black Dragon that flew in the skies above him, echoed his pain and misery. Inuart started to sob, he had lost everything dear to him. His songs, his love. His friend, anything and everything that made his world and life worth living.

"You," a harsh voice hissed from behind him, and a scattering of rubble announced the presence of another human. Inuart turned, the dead form of Furiea shifted slightly at his movement, head lolling to the left side and off his shoulder. "You, you bastard! You selfish bastard!" Caim roared out, anguish clearly written on his face as he took in what Inuart had been about to do, and it made the Dragon's sacrifice hurt all the more. "You took my sister from me, and forced the dragon too. And you dare try and look how I feel?" Caim ranted on, storming over to Inuart, ignoring the warning in the skies from the dragon. And as it turned to dive flame and water balls shot up from the ground and insane laughter followed. "Oh, lookit that! Lookit that! The dragon thinks he is going to do right! Wrong, wrong! Stupid, stupid dragon!" The Fairy cat called out as she twittered. But Caim was beyond aknowledging the others help in this as he grabbed hold of Furiea's dead body with one arm and hand while his left hand formed a fist and planted itself into Inuarts face.

Inuart let out a cry of pain as he struck the ground and then shut up and became still as the blade of Caim's sword touched his neck slowly. The tip of the blade moved from the side to just above his bobbing adams apple. Above them, the black Dragon howled and whimpered in pain as fire and water continued to strike his body, no matter how he dodged or turned. Face twisted from the emotions raging war beneath the surface, Caim towered over Inuarts prone form. His former friends words falling on deaf ears.

"You aren't worth causing my sister even more sorrow and misery, wherever her soul rests." Caim spit out with venom as he turned, and sheathed the sword. Focusing his attention on picking up, and craddling his dead sister to his chest. Caim's eyes watered but no tears leaked out. His kingdom had fallen, his sister was killed by a psychopathic six year old and the last reason for him to carry on had sacrificed herself to save mankind.

With steps that looked like they were forced, Caim strode away from Inuart as Undine and Salamander dispensed the justice of the gods trials on the dragon and it's bonded. And unlike Golem or even the Dragon Caim had lost, they knew no mercy. They felt no sorrow. They were the elements like their sister and brothers of the wind, earth and magic. The were borne for a greater thing. And that was something that they needed no feelings to get in the way.

Head bowed and arms clutching the form that was his sister, Caim made his way out of the hellish zone of the fallen Empire. Ignoring the dead bodies of the damned, the dying or the few survivors. His goal was only minutes away, and his body would have just enough strength to get him there before it gave out.

When Verdelete had dispelled the first magic on the dragon; the pact, he had made them revert to how they had been before the pact. The wounds on the Dragon were infact those the weapons and soldiers had made to her hide and flesh. And unknown to the others, it had re-opened a wound long forgotten to Caim, a foot and a half long gash to his back, and blood was already welling up and out. Staining the white shirt a dark crimson from what sustained his life. But he had been able to fight with the wound before he had pacted with the dragon and bound their souls. He could make it to the goal that was set in his mind like stone.

_**- -  
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As he took what would be one of his last steps and cleared a small rise of rock that had been several buildings, the sound of the ocean was captured by his ears and Caim gave a small and bitter smile. "Almost there." He told the silent air around him as he stumbled to the edge of the plateau that over looked the vast ocean. The sun beat down upon his back but it only made him feel slightly warm as the rest of his body was numb and cold. Caim had never really believed in the gods, never placed his faith or trust in them. But now he did, almost fervently hoped that he had been forgiven. He sorely wanted to see his sister and slain parents again. Even if it was only through death.

"Caim! What are you doing?" The shocked and scared voice of Verdelete hit his ears and barely registered on his brain. Turning his slowly shutting down body, he looked at Verdelete and Seere as the two stared at him in shock while a doubled over Leonard just let his bond describe what 'the foolish death wishing' mortal was doing while Arioch looked on in a sudden and strange bout of lucid awareness. Her weapon hung from her hands as the elf studied Caim with eyes that had seen the brutal murders of her children and entire tribe. Then they blinked and the insane light was back.

"Caim!" Verdelete shouted when it seemed Caim's attention had drifted off and said man turned his head sluggishly to Verdelete, eyes dimmed and now the side and pants were stained with blood while the strong scent of salt hung in the air, and it wasn't all from the ocea far below.

"Verdelete," Caim started slowly, as if his mind was drifitng about like a small ship in a storm. "I'm... going home." Ignoring the words the others shouted or yelled, and the silence from the ones that understood what he truely meant or how bad off he truely was from the deadly slash on his back. Caim turned back to the edge of the plateau, gaze turning downwards and catching the sight of the boiling froth of the sea far below him. As he took the last step forward, the clouds in the sky shifted and for a moment a single beam of sunlight struck him; giving the illusion that he glew and that the shadows that would have been thrown down onto the ground infront of him, if there had been ground, of wings. And then the instant was over and Caim was over the edge and falling: leaving behind four shocked humans.

Caim closed his eyes and let his breathing slow while wind whistled in his ears. He had been hurting so much before, and now there was no pain. There was nothing but a feeling of something that he couldn't put words too as the last threads of consiousness flickered and went out...

_**- -**_

Caim grunted, he felt.. odd.. cracking an eye open a startled oath left him as the face of the thing he had come to apreciate filled his vision. Angelus let out a snicker as she dropped her head and nuzzled the human before her. _'Foolish human,'_ Angelus sent him mentally, almost teasingly before continuing._ 'I didn't know that I made that big of an impression on you.'  
_  
Muttering under his breath, Caim made a half hearted swipe at the dragon with one leadend arm and scowled at her laughter. He tried to speak, but a croak was all that escaped him and worried eyes turned to the dragon. Angelus only grabbed him gently by the front of his shirt with her teeth and picked him up. Then answered. _'The Gods.. have granted us, what could be called a reward of sorts.'_ She then sent him a few images and memories, as that would explain it better. The bond had remained, even in death. Just now with no repricusions for the moment.

_'But, there is one thing Caim._' She stated and set him down, lending her head as a rest when he wobbled. "There is a price though. To come with me, may mean you could become eternally damned. You would never see those that you loved. Ever again. But knowing you..." The Dragon gave a grin that could only be rivaled by a deaths head as her eyes glinted with something akin to mirth.

"Why." Caim demanded as he found his voice. Angelus grew serious at this. "Because, of the actions that had taken place... Something that threatens even the gods may have been unleashed."

Caim snorted and his hands formed fists. He had been so close to seeing his family after such a long torment. "And if we don't become damned?" He asked, eyes focused on a far away point in the distance. But with almost everything the same here, he was starting to try and figure out where he was.

"You stay here. In purgatory. Be greatful I took the offer Caim, or you would be here. For nearly all eternity. Not another soul talk to or listen to or even kill or threaten. I warned you before. Not chosing sides has reprecusions."

Caim had started to shake. From anger, rage and sorrow. Angelus could feel it all. Shifting her body she brought her wings up and about, sweeping Caim's feet out from under him and tumbling into the leathery folds of her wings while the Dragon brought her head down and glared him down. "Human, this is your fault. Now accept the reward and when this is over with, you and I can go our seperate ways."

Caim's head dropped down, and for a moment, Angelus feared the fool would throw it away, and disgrace her true name after she had told him. And then a small sob echoed hollowly in the air while the faint smell of salt and sorrow over rid the other emotions that warred withen Caim. "I... I thought I lost you." Caim whispered, a hand reaching up to stroke the dragon's muzzle. An almost purring sound resonated from deep withen her chest and Angelus leaned into the gesture as a meaning to comfort herself and the human.

"And I too." Was all she said.

**_The End?_**


End file.
